"Respect the Kid" A New Series

When I was younger, I was obsessed with the notion that young children ought to be respected for their thoughts and ideas as much as any other individual. I still believe that, so, in the spirit of  that thought, and because I want to write without an idea to write about, I am going to start a new series: “Respect the Kid”. In this series, I will take works of my old writing and change them into something new. I say something “new” instead of something better because writing is completely subjective, and I’d hate to disrespect the kid as I try to do the opposite. I want to take my old ideas seriously and maybe laugh a little along the way, so, without further ado, the first work I will be changing is: “Let’s Do What We Can”, an eighth-grade-atrocity written for science class likely the night before it was due.

Original:

Samuel Rodriguez

3-1-14

3rd period science

Let's do what we can

Let's do what we can today so that tomorrow our children are not choking

We have the power at the flip of a switch to give our world a fighting chance

So let's look at our futures and ask ourselves what we want

We can wait and we can watch as a fog grows over our landscape

And listen as the birds stop chirping

Or we can change and we can move forward

We can struggle in a world where things will not get any better

Or we can strive for a world where our breaths don't come at cost

Let's do what we can for the future

Not for our convenience because no great tasks

Were accomplished by timid men

New:

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is dark

Tomorrow is cold

Today we have heart

Tomorrow we’re old

Today we will break

What tomorrow doth hold

Tomorrow will ache

Today we’ve found gold

Let us fear

Let us hate

The selves of today

For tomorrow does come

And it ought to with shame

For we have in our hands

The fate of our lands

We’ve doused it in flames

For fun, like a game

Let there be rain

Let it pour, let us be

Let us plan for our children

For them, let us see

Today let’s redeem

Leave tomorrow a dream

Today let us change

So tomorrow it will rain.

-Samuel Rodriguez

I was surprised to find this poem change as much as it did. I took on a whole new tone, and, I hope, a more nuanced meaning. After several readings and edits of the second version of the poem, I’ve found that while I definitely drew inspiration from the environmentalist message of the first poem, the second is not necessarily about just the environment. I tried to focus the poem by using imagery associated with “our lands”, “fire”, and “rain”, but  as I was thinking about the overall message I was trying to get across, it was one of universal change, not just environmental. When writing this, I wanted to urge for personal change, economic change, and an overall shift in mindset about the future. I hope I got that  across.

As for the first iteration of the poem, I’m sad to say that I think it was poorly written, and way too heavy handed. It has a striking lack of poetic voice, and an overwhelming message that wasn’t even well portrayed. Despite this though, it was thought provoking, and had some great ideas. It’s a shame that those ideas were poorly executed, but the realization of silent trees, and a growing fog could be a powerful one. Perhaps I will try to recreate that scene another time.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this. Hopefully, years from now, I will look back at this, redo this poem again, and laugh at my own incompetence.