Goodbye:

Goodbye seems wrong to say.
It's not a good bye at all, because "Good" doesn't go with a sinking feeling in your stomach, and a smile that covers a frown.
"Good" doesn't go with feeling like shit, and wondering if you're ever going to see a friend again.
"Good" doesn't go with saying words, and not feeling like they're enough, and having not one hug but two because you couldn't leave with just one, and regretting not having a third.
"Good"doesn't feel right when you're coming up with excuses for why you shouldn't feel bad.
"Good" doesn't remind you that Munich is $1,500 and 4,500 miles away, or that you should have made more time to hang out because now you don't have any.

Just "Bye" doesn't feel right either.
"Bye" feels hollow and fake, and mean, and empty.
"Bye" feels like I might see the person tomorrow, or in a few minutes.
"Bye" doesn't feel like saying a "goodbye" because no one in the history of "Goodbye's" has ever felt that "bye" was adequate to explain themselves.

Maybe "badbye" would be best... if that were a word.

Perhaps I mean to say a word that doesn't exist in order to express that I'm so sorry you have to leave, that it might be a while before I see you again, that I feel like my "Goodbye" was inadequate, and that even this goodbye is inadequate.

Perhaps it's just a failure of language.

Bye-lingual!
BI-cycle! (remember?)
Bye.
Badbye....

Goodbye.

Kids are dying.

Kids are dying.

"Respect the Kid" A New Series

When I was younger, I was obsessed with the notion that young children ought to be respected for their thoughts and ideas as much as any other individual. I still believe that, so, in the spirit of  that thought, and because I want to write without an idea to write about, I am going to start a new series: “Respect the Kid”. In this series, I will take works of my old writing and change them into something new. I say something “new” instead of something better because writing is completely subjective, and I’d hate to disrespect the kid as I try to do the opposite. I want to take my old ideas seriously and maybe laugh a little along the way, so, without further ado, the first work I will be changing is: “Let’s Do What We Can”, an eighth-grade-atrocity written for science class likely the night before it was due.

Original:

Samuel Rodriguez

3-1-14

3rd period science

Let's do what we can

Let's do what we can today so that tomorrow our children are not choking

We have the power at the flip of a switch to give our world a fighting chance

So let's look at our futures and ask ourselves what we want

We can wait and we can watch as a fog grows over our landscape

And listen as the birds stop chirping

Or we can change and we can move forward

We can struggle in a world where things will not get any better

Or we can strive for a world where our breaths don't come at cost

Let's do what we can for the future

Not for our convenience because no great tasks

Were accomplished by timid men

New:

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is dark

Tomorrow is cold

Today we have heart

Tomorrow we’re old

Today we will break

What tomorrow doth hold

Tomorrow will ache

Today we’ve found gold

Let us fear

Let us hate

The selves of today

For tomorrow does come

And it ought to with shame

For we have in our hands

The fate of our lands

We’ve doused it in flames

For fun, like a game

Let there be rain

Let it pour, let us be

Let us plan for our children

For them, let us see

Today let’s redeem

Leave tomorrow a dream

Today let us change

So tomorrow it will rain.

-Samuel Rodriguez

I was surprised to find this poem change as much as it did. I took on a whole new tone, and, I hope, a more nuanced meaning. After several readings and edits of the second version of the poem, I’ve found that while I definitely drew inspiration from the environmentalist message of the first poem, the second is not necessarily about just the environment. I tried to focus the poem by using imagery associated with “our lands”, “fire”, and “rain”, but  as I was thinking about the overall message I was trying to get across, it was one of universal change, not just environmental. When writing this, I wanted to urge for personal change, economic change, and an overall shift in mindset about the future. I hope I got that  across.

As for the first iteration of the poem, I’m sad to say that I think it was poorly written, and way too heavy handed. It has a striking lack of poetic voice, and an overwhelming message that wasn’t even well portrayed. Despite this though, it was thought provoking, and had some great ideas. It’s a shame that those ideas were poorly executed, but the realization of silent trees, and a growing fog could be a powerful one. Perhaps I will try to recreate that scene another time.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this. Hopefully, years from now, I will look back at this, redo this poem again, and laugh at my own incompetence.

To My Seniors-Yearbook Version

To those faces, familiar and silent, we've made it.
To those stuffed on buses, and packed on trains, to those who bike, and those few who drive: we've made it.
To those whose throats hurt like mine, and even to those whose don't, congratulations, we've made it.
We've made it through Security telling us to put our ID's on, and petty fights, and Friday fight nights, through "ONE FIVES", and "SIXES", and "SEVENS", and now we're onto "EIGHTS", through fire drills, and lockdowns, and plenty of bad grades.
We've made it through three years, and we're off onto our fourth.
We've waited, and we've waited, and finally we are here. We've worn our togas and yelled our year, and more is yet to come, yet soon we will be baffled by how quickly our time is done. So before this becomes too gushy, before I can speak again, before our graduation, and before this time ends, let me say to friends and strangers, I'm glad I've spent this time with you, and sad that it has not been enough.
I'll miss your smiles,
your drama,
your music,
I'll miss your sneers,
your obnoxious texting in the halls,
your blocking O,
and showing up to class late,
I'll miss your voices,
your backpacks,
your cutting in lines,
your and my conflicting views,
your recommendations,
your small talk,
your invites, and lack thereof,
I'll miss your polls on Facebook,
your taking up the halls,
your incessant Snapchats, and your unitards on spirit days,
I'll miss this all, and so much more, but mostly I'll miss us.
I'll miss us all as one, one class, one group, one voice, one sound, one thousand and yet one.

I'll miss each and every one of you and damn it I'll miss Lane.

A friend, a face, or something else,


Sam Rodriguez

Untitled

I really ought to be doing homework, or dishes, working on college applications, or doing laundry. I can't. I can't sit here guiltily, working on meaningless things as my mother thinks or feels that I am not grateful, not thankful, not totally in debt, to a woman who has made me a possibility.

Untitled:

I really ought to stop typing, ought to work, ought to stop. I cannot.


She sits she speaks she's made me me.
She's glorious, has worked for free,
Solely to see me be.

To push and prod to pray for me,
To one day see me free.

I am wholly grateful,
Wholly burned to hear that "I am hurt"
or that I have lacked the words,
to demonstrate the clarity
With which it must be heard,

I am thankful, so thank you,
and lest I sound absurd,
let me say I love you endlessly
To be sure it's heard

-A hard-headed son

To My Seniors:

To those faces, familiar and silent, we've made it.
To those stuffed on buses, and packed on trains, to those who bike, and those few who drive: we've made it.
To those whose throats hurt like mine, and even to those whose don't, congratulations, we've made it.
We've made it through Security telling us to put our ID's on, and petty fights, and Friday fight nights, through "ONE FIVES", and "SIXES", and "SEVENS", and now we're onto "EIGHTS", through fire drills, and lockdowns, and plenty of bad grades.
We've made it through three years, and we're off onto our fourth.
We've waited, and we've waited, and finally we are here. We've worn our togas and yelled our year, and more is yet to come, yet soon we will be baffled by how quickly our time is done. So before this becomes too gushy, before I can speak again, before our graduation, and before this time ends, let me say to friends and strangers, I'm glad I've spent this time with you, and sad that it has not been enough.
I'll miss your smiles,
your drama,
your music,
I'll miss your sneers,
your obnoxious texting in the halls,
your blocking O,
and showing up to class baked,
I'll miss your voices,
your backpacks,
your cutting in lines,
your and my conflicting views,
your recommendations,
your small talk,
your invites, and lack thereof,
I'll miss your polls on Facebook,
your taking up the halls,
your incessant Snapchats, and your unitards on spirit days,
I'll miss this all, and so much more, but mostly I'll miss us.
I'll miss us all as one, one class, one group, one voice, one sound, one thousand and yet one.

I'll miss each and every one of you and damn it I'll miss Lane.

A friend, a face, or something else,


Sam Rodriguez

This is an essay I once wrote for a program. I thought you all might enjoy it. 

Oz: A Study of American Ignorance. 

Ignore my ignorance please. 

Ignore me as I devastate the education of my youth, 

Disregard any notion that I am not the best, and 

Pay no attention to those who might fight to expose my flaws, there are none, I assure you. 

I swear I’m not racist! I insist! I love Muslims! I love Blacks! They just got in the way of my gun.

Brutal? How dare you accuse me? That man was dangerous!

I’m a protector. Don’t you see? Don’t you remember? I saved you!

Ignore it all please. 

Ignore it like I ignore global warming,

Don’t you know? 

“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

Oh yes. Look away and ignore, ignore, ignore, like I ignore the poor,

or what terrible conflicts I’ve caused,

or the blood I’ve spilled. 

Do as I with all the power, with all the wealth, with all the worldly influence I boast about. 

Do nothing.

“BURN! BURN! BURN!”

And invest here where we could hardly kill the world at a faster rate.

Here! The land of the free!

Here, the land of the free with the largest incarcerated population in the world.

Stay stupid America. All of you, everywhere. 

Stay ignorant, like me, and we can bask in our false glory.

Buy and keep buying! It will make you happy just so long as you buy more!

Buy like we’ve bought ourselves into over eighteen trillion dollars of debt. 

Buy like we won’t buy into the idea that we might need reforms.

And with one thousand dollars contribute to consumerism. 

Don’t invest in third world countries,

don’t invest in studies, 

don’t advocate for women’s rights,

don’t lobby against me.

don’t change a thing! We should be happy

our minds busy with Candy Crush.

So stay ignorant America, keep your hands clean, and our borders sealed. 

Stay ignorant America because their problems are not ours.

Stay ignorant America because I said so. 

Stay ignorant America and and never let the rules apply to you.

Stay ignorant America and for those of you who refuse, stay quiet. 

Stay ignorant America and forever live in bliss.

Stay ignorant America and together we’ll live like this 

In the merry old land of Oz.

The most urgent social, environmental, and economic challenges that we face today can all be traced back to the social acceptance of cultural norms that are destructive in their nature. We, as a people, have become accustomed to political corruption, thoughtless media, and a world that seems endlessly hopeless. We have submitted to an easy way of living and have given up on issues that are important to the future of our country, the world, and humanity as a whole. This transition has already begun. With technology to decrease the impact we have on the environment, politicians advocating for monumental reforms, and smarter efforts in maintaining a worldly presence, the United States is improving. However, we need a much more rapid change if we are to succeed in overcoming the largest problems humanity has, and may ever, face.